6 Weeks of Crazy Village Information

I am so sorry that I have not blogged or written but I have been in village for 6 weeks without internet or any semblance of society. I first would like ot say how much I miss you all and hope all is well back in the States!
Village has been...village. it has its ups and downs and I have leanred a lot about myself, Tanzanian culture, and foreign financial aid as a means to progress in this part of the world! I will try and explain more as we go!
1. The GOOD:
I live amongst crazy animals. The chickens and roosters which defacate all over my courtyard (or TZ equivalent of a courtyard), the cow which angrily moos all the time (Unhappy cows come from tanzania), lizards which fall from the roof of my house into the living room, giant poisonous spiders that inhabit the choo (bathroom) and come out at night, and my personal favorite, my dog. Take the word "my" with a grain of salt as he is not really mine, but one day he just started following me all around village and 1 hr and 45 mins away to a seminar etc. He is tri colored Black tan and white and has true dredlocks (sp.) in his tail. He is a real character and we are great friends now. He picks random days to hang with me, but we have gone on adventures into the hospital and to school etc. everyone thinks he is mine which is not a problem until in the middle of one of my seminars on HIV/AIDS he runs after a chicken and almost kills it. Just imagine 80 face turning to the "owner" of that pup...ooops! (Chickens are obviously rather important here, eggs, food etc)...So the animals are fun.
I have figured out ways to make tortilla chips and salsa or as close as I will get here which is a highlight from the beans and rice, or potatoes and rice, or beans and potatoes, rice and rice or..I think you get it!
For 3 of these 6 weeks I worked alone. My partner had to go home to fill out applications for college and loan forms which was supposed to take 4 days...3 weeks later, he pops up! As difficult as it was to try and explain, HIV transmission, vyungo vya uzazi (sexual organs of man and woman), puberty, sperm, and eggs, where babies come from, and why we grow hair in our "special places" all in Swahili...I succeeded and ran a lot of classes, seminars, meetings, etc all by myself. My Swahili, needless to say, has improved a lot, and I am a lot more confident now knowing my abilities in the language and working with people in the community.

THE BAD:
The leadership of Lugarawa, as I believe I have written about, is very uncooperative and unhelpful. Not only do hey show up to every meeting at least 1 hour late, but after that meeting, there is little achieved. Overall there is an apathetic nature to so many of these people. Of course they are extremely poor, living day to day, working hard harvesting whatever they can grow and making whatever money that can from that, if not just using it to feed their families, so can you blame them...but there is a lack of coorolation here between hard work and dedication and success and this ultimatley has resulted in people relying on begging. As one of 3 internationals living in Lugarawa ward, we are seen as banks. Everyone begs and everyone wants money. we offer seminars and education, but they want money. It is engrained even in the children as they see me and beg for candy or balloons, for year olds yell "Mzungu, naomba....White man, I beg for...". What is so difficult to come to terms with is that these children will have an extremely difficult time getting out of this cycle that has established itself in the village. The education system is entirely flawed. In Secondary School all classes are in english. I have begun teaching an English class, Form 3 (out of 4 at this school) and I was supposed to teach phrases like "Although, Unless, In order to..." but I quickly realized, these students do not know how to make a simple sentence Subject Verb Object. They don't know what a noun is a verb, adjective, adverb...So I started over. I began teaching the basics....sadly when exam week came around...last week, the teacher put on all the info I had not taught. I told him not to as they needed to review basics, but he did it anyway. Of my 150 students maybe 10 passed, I had scores like 6%, 2% 16%...teahers in this school give their notes to students to write on the board and then go get a beer. They show up late or never. There are 5 permanent teachers for 600 students. I walked into school one day and more than half we in line waiting to received their punishment...a beating on the butt or hands. That continued through the first period of class and all students watched. Of the 600 students in my school 1% may move on to form 5 and 6, but even that is unlikely, as all national exams are in English.
It is very disheartening to be faced by people who don;t want to help themselves. I have learned, we can send so much here, money people etc, but if they have no drive to even learn to be healthy, can we actually succeed in helping them. I realize how I must sound...when someone said something like this to me before I left, I thought he was a prick (excuse my language). How dare he say that about people who are in such need and are struggling every day! Seeing it, which is what I told all of you I wanted and why I was coming, defiantely changes your perspective, then trying to help, changes it again. To realize your help is ignored is the hardest lesson of all. I have come to terms that, due to the failures of SPW's program, I will not be leaving any huge mark and any program I start is unlikely to be sustainable. So I have changed my perspective again. Help one person. Help one person and if I can help 10 great, but the small successes are what will keep me sane. The disdain of the general population and village leaders is something I must take into account, but I must focus on helping those students so maybe one more will pass the exam, and break the cycle.
Sadly the same issues that I face in village, failed communication, poor organization, apathy, and laziness are qualities found in my direct contacts of SPW, so with HUGE program changes coming half way into our placement and failed promises coming regularly, it is hard to see how an organization like this could combat larger problems than poverty and HIV--apathy towards fixing those problems.
I do not mean to sound cynical, angry, or sad. I am coming to terms with the facts surrounding aid to the developing world. I saw an interview with an author who wrote Dead Aid. My mom bought the book and I look forward to reading it. It is about the crisis surrounding the Western World pouring money into the developing world and how it has actually caused more problems than help. Call my mom or look into it too. I think this will be one of the biggest things I discuss upon my return; In my plays and work at Emerson I criticize apathy on the part of the Western World---so the new question is, how do we combat apathy in those toward whose problems we are apathetic.
I hope this blog starts a great debate in the comments section. I want to hear your perspective on this issue.
This is probably hard to hear, especially for those who were generous enough to donate to this organization. I can't thank you enough though because this experience has been and will continue to be a great lesson for me, and i hope you too can be more than satified with helping even one person.